I have been in Obama obsession for ten long months, a thrilling but strenuous stretch which I hope will end in bliss one week from today. So single-minded has my focus been that I did not notice until a few days ago that there are some propositions lying around. Several of them concern issues dear to me, like gay rights and chickens and how to get to Anaheim with minimum suffering. So since I can say nothing more about Obama for now, allow me to share with you my proper recommendations.
Prop 1a--Bullet Train
YEAH!
Neato! It's good for the environment! It's an economic stimulus! Let's do it!
If a bullet train offered to take you from SF to LA in three hours, could you possibly say no? Surely not if you've suffered the grueling drive down the 5, feedlot odors wafting through closed windows, arriving at 2am to avoid LA traffic and still not avoiding it. Bullet tickets would be approx cheaper than gas.
Prop 2--Farm Animals
YES, please
Let hardscrabble California layers spread their wings by 2015. So much to ask?
This prop prohibits harsh confinement of farm animals in general, but since we don't have much of a pork or veal industry, the LA Times calls Prop 2 "all about chickens." The more you understand chickens, the sadder it gets to see footage of laying hens squeezed four to a stacked cage. (Those in the bottom cages literally get shit on.) My three hennies have a fifteen square foot coop; any time they have to stay in it all day, bitching and moaning is sure to ensue. They can't imagine the animal despair of birds who can't even flap a wing, never mind parachute off the ramp door across the backyard.
Prop 4--Parental Notification
NO
Preggers teens screwed enough already.
Californians have already voted down parental notification for abortions, in part because critics pointed out that notification could be a bitch for girls from abusive homes. This new version is supposed to answer those critics by allowing young ladies to notify another "adult family member" if their parents are sufficiently mean. Yeah, since every kid from an abusive home has some *cool relative* they can go tell they got pregnant. The "other adult family member" thing would also require the pregnant teen to officially declare her parent(s) abusive. I say she's got enough to worry about.
Prop 8--Outlaw Gay Marriage
NO AND HELL NO
Just equal rights.
Isn't it funny how the prejudiced of any given era are always sure they're not the assholes? Were white people in Alabama in the fifties like, Yes, I'm racist, I want to deny black people their civil rights. No, they were like, Separate but equal! We don't have anything against black people! We just think certain customary norms should remain in place, is all. Likewise, those waving signs for Prop 8 at the Fruitvale 580 exit seem totally sure they're just abiding tradition and religion. Memo to them: It never feels like you're the bigot future generations will disdain.
Props 7 and 10 are fakey environmental props, so no thanks.
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